- I live in a village called Calverton in Nottinghamshire. Occasionally, I write completely made-up things about it.
A SHORT-SIGHTED worker at Calverton’s Hand Car Wash has accidentally given a valet to a horse, it has been claimed.
Stella Pipette, a stable owner from somewhere up the posh bit of the village, was trotting past the rundown building that used to be a pub before it became a restaurant which closed and then became another restaurant which also closed astride Merlin, her prize-winning Thoroughbred, when the incident occurred on Wednesday.
‘A man in overalls gave a shrill whistle and waved Merlin towards him,’ said a traumatised Stella.
‘Before I could stop the fellow, he’d set about Merlin with soapy water and soft wash mitts. Merlin looked like he was enjoying it to start with, but soon reared up at the first swipe of abrasive sponge on the equine tallywhacker.’
A spokesman for the Hand Car Wash said: ‘You can be sure your horse is being cleaned using only the best quality Autosmart products.
‘While it’s clear that chemicals have seriously affected the eyesight of one of our employees on this occasion, causing him to inappropriately valet a Thoroughbred, we didn’t think it was fair that the employee was trampled for his genuine mistake and we will be seeking legal advice.’
The horse was unable to provide comment, because it’s a horse.
Simon Carter 
You must be logged in to post a comment.